Hetalia Nations Brawl
by Maple-Syrup-not-Tree
Summary: The Nations have to defeat evil creatures trying to destroy earth that are brainwashing them into starting wars. Bad touch trio centric. Contains worshipping of pasta,sunflower power and giant gilbird.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is co-written by one of my friends whilst looking through my faves on DeviantArt, hopefully it won't take too long to update...I hope. Sorry about any grammar or spelling mistakes, its 1:16am according to my clock and my brain doesn't like grammar or spelling when it's at a normal hour haha.**

Prologue

It was an average day, in our average lives, in our average world, well…sort of.

"Oi West! Give me back my damn beer!" Prussia yelled from his position atop the conference room table, pointing his finger accusingly at his younger brother.  
>"Bruder, you can't drink beer at a world meeting," sighed in exasperation at the antics of his older brother, "And besides, what are you even doing here anyway? I thought you were banned from the meetings after the trouble you caused last year."<br>"Kesesese, I'm too awesome for anyone to stop me coming to these stu-"  
>"We brought him! ~" Spain chirped happily, gesturing to himself and France, interrupting his Prussian friend, who was glaring at Antonio for interrupting him.<br>"Ve~ Ludwig, give Gilbert his beer back, don't be so mean!" Italy fretted, waving his arms frantically, almost like he was doing an impression of Gilbird."Yeah, Ludwig give him back his beer," Spain said cheerily, oblivious to the chaos Prussia would cause if he got said beer back.  
>"Nein! Don't encourage him Feliciano and Ant-" Suddenly, the conference room shook violently, as if there was an earthquake, cutting Germany off from scolding the two countries. There was a cacophony of noise as the countries screamed, yelled, swore and the lone voice of America yelling "That's totally badass!" as a gigantic crack proceeded to rip through the conference room, and a sinister blackish purple mist seeped out, filling the room to table height. Only Prussia remained untouched by the mist. The ground had finally stopped shaking.<br>Before anyone could get their bearings, the floor around the conference table opened and swallowed everyone, except Prussia, leaving only Prussia in the conference room.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Antonio could see nothing, smell nothing and he felt the odd sensation of weightlessness. The only feeling he was aware of was a feeling of warmth that seemed like it was clinging to him and felt comforting. Suddenly he was aware of his surroundings, he could still see nothing, but he could feel the floor, and something wet? Oh God! It was Francis. He was drooling on him. Antonio tried to push the sleeping Francis off him, but he wouldn't budge. Antonio used all his strength and eventually managed to push Francis off of him, unfortunately he had a lot of strength and the y both ended up tumbling out of a closet. Francis suddenly awoke after hitting the floor,  
>"Ow Antonio, you're so mean!" he cried quietly, they didn't know where they were, so they thought it best to keep their voices down.<p>

In fact, they soon discovered, they had been in the closet in the conference room they had been in moments ago. It was empty, except Gilbert sitting in the corner of the room crying, with Gilbird circling his head screaming, "PIYO!"

Spain shouted, "Hola mi amigo!" making Gilbert look up to see Francis and Antonio standing there as if nothing had happened. Gilbert immediately got to his feet and started wiping away his tears before saying, "Hey guys, I was totally not crying there, and where have you guys been? Not like the awesome me cares or anything." Francis and Antonio knew that when Gilbert got emotional he would try to hide it, and from experience they knew it wasn't best to ask questions or try to comfort him. So Antonio shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know, mi amigo. One minute I was here and the next I was in the closet," Spain gestured at said closet and a fireball suddenly shot from his hand, which engulfed the closet in flames. Antonio panicked and ran over to the closet waving his arms around frantically trying to think of a way to put out the flames. That's when his clothes caught fire.

Francis and Gilbert watched, mouths agape, wondering what the hell to make of it.

"Shouldn't we help him, Mon ami?" France said, turning to face Gilbert. Gilbert sighed and then shrugged, before picking up a candlestick and proceeding to basically beat the crap out of Antonio with it. He thought it would help put the flames out.  
>"What the hell Gilbert! We're supposed to be helping Antonio, not beating the shit out of him!" Francis yelled at the idiotic Prussian. Antonio had been yelling about it burning the entire time, but now he was screaming at Gilbert to stop.<p>

"Well I don't see you doing anything to help," Gilbert said smugly.

"If you're going to hit him, use something that may actually put out the fire," France said, inwardly sighing. He picked up a chair and joined Gilbert in hitting Antonio.

Antonio soon lost consciousness, fainting from the pain of burning and being hit by candlesticks and chairs. Gilbert then saw the fire extinguisher where he had been sitting earlier (not crying damn it!) and he ran over to it and doused Antonio in the white foam putting all the flames out.

There wasn't much left od Antonio's clothing. His trousers, for the majority, were gone, his red waistcoat had been turned to ashes and most of his sunshine yellow shirt had been incinerated, thankfully his tomato boxers hadn't been touched by the flames. He was covered in burns, but thankfully as he was a nation they would heal pretty quickly.

Gilbert then covered the door in the foam as well. They had managed to save the room, but where the closet had been there was now a gaping, charred hole in the wall.

Gilbert and Francis had no other choice but to wait for their Spanish friend to awaken before he told him how he was able to shoot fireballs from his hand. Unfortunately they were going to have to make themselves comfortable, it was going to take a while… Antonio was out cold.


	3. Chapter 2  of Drama and Gilbird

**AN/: I'm sooo sorry for the late update! I kinda lost half of my copy and have spent days looking for it! Thank you soo much for all of the reviews and story alerts you guys have given us, they make us so happy! I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but we thought it was a good idea to end there. We should only have 1 or 2 more chapters of the bad touch trio part and we'll be on to the rest of the nations that are swimming through time and space at the moment. Again thanks so much for the reviews and story alerts~!**

Gilbert and Francis had been there for 2 hours and Antonio still hadn't woken up.

Francis looked over to Antonio from where he was sitting on the table; Antonio was still on the floor as they hadn't bothered to move him, and murmured, "You think we hit him too hard mon ami?"

"Nah that's pretty fucking unlikely, the idiot has nothing but air up there!" Gilbert snapped, highly irritated that they had been here for two hours and he had had no beer. It was 3 o'clock and he'd usually be on his way to getting wasted by now!

"Is he even breathing?" Francis said, ignoring the Prussian's outburst, poking Antonio's side and checking his pulse. "Mon Dieu! He's not breathing!" he yelled, frantically panicking.

"Mein Gott! I'm too awesome to kill my best friend!" Gilbert shouted, leaping off his place from atop the table and down to where Antonio was and started shaking him yelling, "God damn it Antonio! Wake the fuck up!"

Antonio suddenly snored loudly and rolled over on to his side. Gilbert let out a sigh of relief, glaring at Francis for the false alarm.

"What I want to know is where that fire came from," Gilbert contemplated, scowling as he stood up.  
>"I don't know, but maybe I can do it too," Francis said, grinning as he stood up and faced Gilbert. He pointed a finger at Gilbert and a green laser shot out of it. Gilbert ducked, but Gilbird wasn't so lucky. It hit him square in the chest and he went flying with a scream of "Piyo!"<p>

"NOOOOO! GILBIRD!" Gilbert screamed as his beloved bird hit the floor. He stormed over to Francis and grabbed him round the neck and started choking him.

"You bastard! You hit Gilbird! And you were trying to hit me! I'm going to kill you!" He screamed as Francis was turning blue.  
>"G-g-gil-b-bert, g-g-gi-lbird…is a-al-ive," Francis choked out.<p>

"What?" homicidal rage disappearing off Gilbert's face as he said this. He turned around and came face to face with a 12ft tall giant Gilbird.

"PIYO!" It shrieked.

Gilbert promptly fainted, twitching on the ground.


	4. Chapter 3 of Battles and Crappy Poems

Hetalia Nations Brawl – Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok! Sorry for this update being so late, we had written the chapter ages ago, but Antonio used karate and I thought it was a little OOC so we had to change it. Thanks for all the reviews so far, it's really awesome! The next chapter we'll move onto Norway and the Italys so be warned for excessive screaming and a pissed off Norwegian.**

Of Battles and Crappy Poems

Gilbert groaned as he opened his eyes to see Francis with his lips puckered, slowly leaning down to his face. Gilbert shot up, head-butting Francis in the face causing Francis to tumble backwards onto the floor, groaning and clutching his face.

"What the fuck were you doing, you bastard!" Gilbert shouted (not screamed in a girly fashion, oh no, definitely not), whilst a cheery Antonio, who had obviously woken up in the previous commotion, watched on with an oblivious look on his face.

"Mon ami, I was just about to give you…um…err…CPR? That's it! I thought you had had a heart attack" Gilbert just stared at Francis with a look that said I-am-not-a-complete-idiot-you-fucking-moron, before looking around him and spotting Gilbird, who was still giant and happily piyo-ing away.

"How on earth is he that big! Francis, did you give him steroids…again?" Gilbert said, remembering the time Francis had found and stole steroids from someone's medicine cabinet.

"Of course I didn't, do you not remember anything that happened before you passed out?" Francis asked worriedly.

"Hey! The awesome me does not just 'pass out ' I was hit by that…um… fire extinguisher!" he yelled pointing to the fire extinguisher they had used earlier, "But yeah, I do remember what happened now, my mind just went blank from the sheer awesomeness that is Gil-"

Suddenly, the same mist from earlier came back, rising upwards and thickening into a dense and dark cloud. Rising out of it were strange robotic creatures, with purple skin and green clothes.

"I've seen things like these before." Antonio said, a puzzled expression appeared on his face as he tried to figure out where he had seen them before, "I know! They were in a game I played!" he said a cheery expression replacing his confused look from moments ago.

"What do we do? This isn't exactly a game Antonio!" Francis wailed, freaked out by the creatures.

"I don't know guys," he said, before spotting something out of the corner of his eye, "What's that doing here?" he murmured to himself, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. It was his battle axe, which should be at home, in Madrid. He picked it up, the weapon was about a foot shorter than he was and the blade glinted dangerously in the light. He smirked like the cat that had just caught the canary, before he leaped onto the table and swung the axe at the nearest creature, the axe hit its torso, cutting the creature in half. Rather than the mass of blood and guts Antonio was expecting, it exploded into a thick, black slimy substance, covering the almost naked Antonio (they hadn't bothered finding him more clothes).

"We do that," he said grinning at the dumbfounded expressions on his two friends.

"Hey! I ain't being left out!" Gilbert yelled, spotting the sword he had used during his 'beating the crap out of Lithuania days'. He picked it up and swung it at the nearest creature, decapitating it, before he swung the sword at another creature as the other coated him in the same substance Antonio was covered in. Antonio and Gilbert made short work of the remaining creatures, whilst Francis looked on in horror. After the last creature had been decapitated by a lazy flick of Gilbert's wrist, Antonio and Gilbert both jumped off of the table.

"Guys…What the fuck just happened?" Gilbert asked hoping one of the others might have an answer.

"I'm guessing we were just attacked by some creepy creatures," Francis suggested, as Gilbert gave him another one of his I-am-not-a-complete-idiot-you-fucking-moron glares again.

"Those, mi amigos, were Prymids, which are evil creatures from a game I've played before," Antonio said gravely, grimacing slightly, "Although why they're here is a complete mystery to me, but I bet it has something to do with why we have magic powers and why we all disappeared. Also, I suggest we get out of here before they try attacking us again," Antonio said as he turned to walk out of the door of the conference room, which was now a complete mess, axe still in hand. Gilbert and Francis followed.

"Sacre bleu! What is this? Francis exclaimed, picking up a piece of paper that had been glowing moments before.

Francis read aloud what was on the paper;  
>"Wolf of metal with amber eyes,<br>Find out where this place is and you'll get a surprise.  
>P.S if the weapons you carry are too much of an inconvenience to carry around with you, then just think about making them become smaller and they'll become smaller"<p>

Antonio and Gilbert both concentrated hard and their weapons vanished with a pop and turned into small badges with their flags on them.

"Awesome! I think I know where we need to go!" Gilbert yelled excitedly, "we can fly on Gilbird's back to get there!"

"Where is it that we need to go!" Antonio also joined in with the excited yelling, whilst grinning like an axe murderer.

"Well…I think we should go to…"


End file.
